yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
