I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
