Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
