she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
it's like iHOP with fire
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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