I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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