Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
