my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We need to get me chipped asap
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
