that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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