we have officially lost it.
Don't make out with my wife yet
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
