I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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