I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He? As in you personified your dick?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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