Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
