woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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