i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
