i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
