Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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