you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
