this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
