Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We need to rekindle our bromance
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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