Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
