that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We had sex on a dog bed..
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
