That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
