Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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