omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
