I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
