Cold hands, warm shart.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
