508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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