Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize