I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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