and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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