I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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