Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
