he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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