my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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