That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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