I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
