4 words: hood of his car
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
