My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
