i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
