Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
