Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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