We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
