Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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