so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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