Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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