what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
