Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
