Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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