HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
