I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Farmville is her only friend.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
