I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
