I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
