is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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