after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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