im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
