Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
