lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
