Swine flu. Run for my life!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
