She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
