Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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