Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
