I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
