Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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