only if we run a train.
done.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
3 2 1 whiskey
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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