"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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