I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
