worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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