How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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