you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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