So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
