he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
